Week 2

It's funny, isn't it? The way God works in the midst of things, and the way He changes your perspective at the exact moment that you are not looking for it. It sounds cliche, I know. I've heard it about five hundred billion times, and you've probably heard it more. My suspicion, however, is that this idea of God working in mysterious ways was originally more than that thing that everybody says all the time.

Take today, for example.

I started the morning on a low. not sure what it was. coud have been my quiet time getting cut off, could have been not enough sugar in my coffee I don't know. But week two, I won't lie, has been a serious challenge, and I was really feeling it today. I realize that God is not emotion, and I'm trying to learn to follow Him regardless of emotion. But being sad is still sad. I was frustrated with my spiritual and practical incapabilities, which wasn't helped by the hard day yesterday, where we saw only one woman from the people group we're trying to reach out to, and i didn't really get to have many conversations. And even more than that, my shortcomings are further thrown into light when I am around my roommate, the seminary student who reads the Bible thruogh every year and often reads it in its original Hebrew and Greek and furthermore knows some Arabic. I am slow to learn. I am very quiet up here for some reason; I sometimes feel I lack an outlet, a way to express anything. I am relatively certain that the worship team does not believe me when I tell them I can sing (they get that "don't call us, we'll call you" look every time I've talked to them about it), and besides Callie definitely has that position covered. I would sing in the apartment, except for the part about us not getting home til 9 or 10 and the walls being thin. My violin is 500 miles away. My writing is increasingly bad, mostly because I don't have time. Because of certain personal tensions in the group, prayerwalking is someting I am to do only to myself. I really wish, right now, that I could dance, but we all know I can't.
In short, I feel a little suffocated.

And besides that, I have those common feelings of incompetence. What do I have to offer? I'm an introvert. I can try to be good at conversation, but I'm not as the rest. I cannot use music right now,I cannot use acting. I cannot pray the way i'm good at. As much as I try to learn and converse with Tim and Joan, I always panic and keep quiet so they won't see how spiritually behind i am. i am a little bit lonely.
and feeling this way, it kind of sucks.

i am encouraged daily by reading the book of Acts. Acts rocks. And I find comfort in His joy and His mercies that are new every morning. But it doesn't mean that feeling this way doesn't suck. It sucks less and less the more I look at him, but those feelings, they just suck.

Except that God works in mysterious ways. Many times, I find it is through people. Take the gillihans, for example, who at the moment have the entire family over for a wedding. Congratulations to the Gillihan grandchildren,who have replenished a notch of my faith in children. Congratulations also to the arabic people, for I have not found a more warm and loving people outside that small, Tanzanian house I have been to only once. This evening, Adel and his wife Lela and their children and about 6ish other families welcomed us to their backyard. It was hot--a comfortable hot, like June/July ought to be. And there was a feast there of good food and good people. My feet were bare and I was wearing my new grey dress and not a whole lot else. with the children, i played hide and and seek (and often won). With the adults, I sat and talked and enjoyed their company. i sang a little to myself. I drank tea. And i sat with these wonderful people in the shade, and laughed away the long summer, evening.

And really, I was exactly myself. One foot on in the kiddie pool, one in the deep, adult end. Wild some, thoughtful some. a little wierd, a little traditional. And it didn't matter how good or bad anyone was at anything. We were all children of God, weren't we? Why should we not love each other? I found myself more content than I had though possibly this morning

I am reminded again of who He is, and who I am. Without Him, I am nothing. Through Him, I can do all things. Praise God, eh?

Week 2.

The Canada Chronicles-trip to Vancouver

Vancouver is, at times, exactly like Portland. It is also, at times, Seattle, Dubai, Dallas, Sausalito, and London. I even forgot for a moment, while walking along a dusty road, that I was not once again in the streets of Dar Es Salaam. Except that Dar Es Salaam did not require a jacket.

At any one time in Vancouver, you hear the sound of everyone talking in several hundred different languages at once, and it kind of makes me wish for another Pentacost when I learn that only about 2 percent of these people have heard the life-changing message of Christ. Canada is all about being nice and pleasant and not being abrasive and God forbid you offend anybody, and the result is that relationships are hard to get past a really shallow level (at least with native Canadians) because no ones opens up because of this fear, and there are many, many, many lonely people. Really, my fear is that Canada is America in ten years. Pray that this is not the case, and pray pray pray for Canada.

I was encouraged, however, in the afternoon. We were walking down the middle of downtown Van (as the locals call it. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet) with Tim and Joan and they lead us to this huge building. And there's this directory thing at the bottom, and it says "Room 811: Place of Loving People" and after we knock, this Korean woman opens the door and just hugs us and says "Hello! Hello! Come in come in!! Are you thirsty? Hungry?" The walls are all green and orange and there's flowers on the table (gerber daisies. I love gerber daisies) and there's Korean worship music playing, and students are inside studying and generally being together. They come here to worship every Friday night, and also take English classes and do other ministry and connect with other Korean immigrants. The first is Scarlett, whom I immediately loved. She smiled and even the gerber daisies seemed to gain a little color. I see in her the joy of the Lord that is new every morning. She is studying right now to become a doctor to be a doctor/missionary someday and her English is improving. The next is Moon, a cute girl that reminds me of Hali Hesson, if you know her. She had almost no accent at all, but refrained from speaking because she was emarrassed about her grammar. I found this unfortunate. Last is Ian, who is the worship leader and was also quiet, but that was mostly because he was planning the group's retreat next week. They are all ecstatic.

Scarlett and Moon and Ian are 3 of 3o to 40ish young Koreans who have found the Place of Loving People. Scarlett says it is a second home. SHe has a key. They bring lunch and chill. They talk about God. We will be returning to it every Tuesday to help with the English class.

The woman who runs it has been here for about ten years, and created and runs this place mostly by herself. When she told us the English name she has finally chosen after a decade of being here, I almost laughed.

Lydia.

The Canada Chronicles--Day 1

If this is the third time I've published this, I apologize. I think the Internet has a personal vendetta against me. Changing the computer seems to have helped. Blasted technology.











Several of you and I have joked about me going to Canada and saying things like "oooh...Canada" and "Wow...foreign country" Ahahahahhaaha. ha. But coming off the plane today between two Air Japan flights and looking at the gigantic screen over the customs booths and noticing that English was about the fifth language down on the list made me realize the overwhelming truth:



I am definitely in a foreign country.







We don't realize it down in (as these Canadians call it) The Stehhhts, but Vancouver is one of the most diverse cities in the world, about as diverse as New york, percentage-wise, only in a smaller area. Surrey, the city I'm living in, has a demographic of about one-third Indian (as in from India, not First Nations, which is what they call the Native Americans up here, WorldQuest people), and the rest of the greater Vancouver area is full of people from everywhere else in the world. It is incredibly interesting to listen a minute to the snippets of all the languages going on at any given moment, and Tim, while driving us home remarked "Look! A white lady!" the one and only time we saw one.





I am staying in Surrey, which is the equivalent of Troutdale and is exactly like Troutdale except for the diversity part. We, like many of the Surrey residents, live in a basement apartment (the houses are gigantic, but each one has like two basement apartments that help with the absolutely redunkulous price of housing). Welcoming us into their home is an Iranian couple (and furthermore, probably the most adorable couple on the face of the earth) who have lived here almost two years. Their names are Sepideh, who is too fiery to be Islam's daughter, and AMin, who is too just to be its son. Both of them escaped to Turkey from Iran after their lives were endangered because of their faith in Jesus Christ, and were married there. On Thursday, they leave to visit Sepideh's family in Finland, and Sepideh brightens up just talking about it. She has not seen her family since they have been married.



This evening she made us Iranian saffron chicken and rice and I thanked God for Iran. And her.



Tomorrow marks the first venture into Vancouver. I wait in excitement.

tee minus...

well, at this current moment in time, Steven Sondheim has been awarded a lifetime achievement Tony award; the Discovery channel is continuing their broadcast of Apollo 13; my father is being tempted by the box of hershey bars my mother so cruelly placed on the counter, and I am writing my very first blog ever. YAAAAAAAAAYY! I continue in my preparations for the party most of you think I don't know about, and my laundry is almost done. just thought you should all know. Tuesday is the day I leave. I am nervous and excited and nervous and excited and hungry. I fully expect to grow up a lot this summer in Canada. I am trying as best I can to prepare myself. Other than that, my attention is mainly taken up by suitcases and ipods and socks and jeans and underwear.

This blog is not very interesting. But don't panic. These should get progressively better as I actually leave.


Goodbye, my loverly friends. Goodnight.

whyhelloamy

i'm sure many of you are wondering why i have such a bizarre url? its because my wonderful sister rocks at making url for myspace and blogspot. that is all.